There’s so many different ways I could go with this post. I’ve stumbled over many different introductions and decided to keep things straightforward because there’s a lot of points I want to get across.
I want to start by explaining it’s origin; why I decided I needed to write about this topic. I don’t want to blow my own horn here but I’ve gained a fair few Twitter followers the past few months. For the first time in my life I have people online who know things about my personal life. I realised that I was often tweeting a lot of mixed messages. Occasionally talking about my relationship and occasionally talking about flirting with someone new or seeing someone I fancy. I went to type up a tweet to set this straight and then realised I was too nervous to publish. This lead me to think about why, and I realised; I am the only person I know in this situation. Never once have I, after endless reading of various blog categories, stumbled across a relating post. Then I thought about my life away from online. Does anyone apart from a couple of very very close friends know about my situation? Nope, they don’t. I realise I either identify as single, or as in a relationship just to keep things simpler. But is it really to keep things simpler? No it isn’t. It’s because i’m embarrassed. I’m embarrassed because it’s not seen as ‘normal’ or ‘the done thing’, because if I told people they’d be shocked or ask 100 questions. Well in my eyes my situation feels nothing but normal, it’s healthy and i’m happy which is why I am writing this post because surely, surely I can’t be the only person in an open relationship?
The first thing people will ask is: But surely you can’t care about him that much if you’re still seeing other people?
Well no. I absolutley adore him, much but this situation just works for us. We’re long distance, both at different Universities, and have separate lifes. If we were to try being exclsuive it just wouldn’t work. We talk about a future and have every intention to be together properly one day, but right now we’re young, and not ready to commit. That doesn’t take away how much we care about each other.
Another: But how does it work? Do you have ground rules?
No, we don’t have any set ground rules but there are some things we just won’t do. Like we won’t talk about other people unless somethings happened. At the end of the day, I want him to be happy and to help out with all his problems so, if a girls pissed him off or upset him. I’ll be there to hear him out and cheer him up. Ok, I know that bit sounds weird. This situation is very different to a ‘normal’ relationship , i’m not denying that, but I do want to explain why it works.
Don’t you feel paranoid all the time?
Nope, I’m so confident in the fact that he will never find anyone he cares about more than me and I know i’ll never fall for anyone like I have for him. If I see other people, it’s only very casually. I could never get serious with someone else whilst being involved with him and I know it’s the same situation for him.
So yeah, weird post right? It may or may not have been useful. It may possibly have helped you understand open relationships and be able to justify them better now (I hope so anyway). Either way, writing this has made me feel better and at least know I have an explanation for why one day i’ll be tweeting my excitement about a getaway with bae one day and creeping on attractive people on public transport a few days later. Let me know if you have any questions. I’d be happy to answer.